


Review

by rosensilence



Series: Ficlets [1]
Category: Peter Rabbit (2018), This Is Where I Leave You (2014)
Genre: M/M, Phillip is very horny, Phillip's filthy internal dialogue, Sex Toys, Thomas is very proper, actually Thomas is horny too, crossed wires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 09:06:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15838134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosensilence/pseuds/rosensilence
Summary: Phillip loves how diligent Thomas is, but not when it gets in the way of them having sex.  Thomas can't help being thorough though, and writing toy reviews is no different.





	Review

All Phillip wanted after a hard day of work was to go home and relax. Maybe, if Thomas was game and he usually was, there’d be a hot fuck or two and then he could sleep until it was time to do it all again tomorrow. When he walked into the apartment he shared with Thomas and found him hunched over the coffee table with his laptop and notebooks piled higher than the sofa Thomas wasn’t sitting on, Phillip knew that relaxation was off the table.

Hopefully the sex wasn’t.

Thomas was hard at work at something and Phillip almost didn’t want to interrupt him. Thomas was really sexy when he was concentrating on something: his nose would crinkle, his eyes narrow and he’d bite his lips. Phillip usually saw that look just before Thomas sucked him off and he was starting to feel slightly jealous of the notebook Thomas was staring at.

“What are you doing?”

Thomas looked up from his paperwork and smiled. It was such a sweet smile and it made Phillip’s heart flutter in a way it didn’t normally flutter. “You’re back! I didn’t hear you come in.”

Phillip flopped down into the plush armchair near the door, the one that he loved to sit in while Thomas rode him, and nudged Thomas’ thigh with his foot. “You look busy.”

“Oh, this,” Thomas said, looking at the paperwork that surrounded him. “I’m writing a toy review. I’m just looking through my notes and comparing it to competitor’s models.”

Thomas took his job at Harrods toy department very seriously. He was proud of being a Harrods employee, and Phillip had gotten used to seeing Harrods shopping bags in all corners of the apartment. He sometimes brought work home, too. When Thomas had been put in charge of designing a new display of Star Wars figures their apartment had been full of cardboard cut out characters. Thomas had wanted to try out his possible designs and had commandeered the kitchen for that purpose. Phillip hadn’t been able to get to the fridge without pushing Darth Vader out of the way.

Phillip sighed. He had thought that being in a polyamorous relationship would be hot. Being in one had been one of his major life goals since he was fourteen and first learned what one was, and his mind had created so many scenarios. He could have two guys, girls, whatevers, fucking him at the same time. He could fuck one, and then the other. He could even have a night off and just _watch_.

But the younger Phillip had never expected that the third member of his relationship would be a fucking department store. You couldn’t fuck a department store, but Phillip wouldn’t be surprised if Thomas had tried. Phillip had long since learned not to come between Thomas’ and his love for Harrods, but instead to just ride it out and jack off if it took too long.

“Actually, could you give me your opinion on something?” Thomas asked.

“Sure.”

“What word do you like best, intense or fierce?”

“Fierce.”

“Me, too,” Thomas said, quickly typing something on his laptop. “It gives a more violent image, and I think that’s perfect for this toy.”

Phillip just nodded. Having a conscientious boyfriend that always strived to do the best he could at everything was fantastic when it came to things like cooking, cleaning and roleplaying. Thomas’ dishes were always restaurant worthy, the floors were always sparkling and Thomas didn’t just wear a uniform, he became that police officer and used his handcuffs with pride. It wasn’t so fantastic when it came to bringing work home, and Phillip knew that all of his plans for the rest of the night would come second until Thomas finished his toy review.

“Phillip, do you think that only playing with it twice is enough times for a review?”

Phillip honestly had no opinion on the appropriate amount of times you should play with a toy before reviewing it, but he knew better than to say that to Thomas. If Thomas asked for an opinion, he expected one back. “How long did you play with it for?”

“The first time I was pretty quick, but the second time I took it easy and played for hours.”

“It’s that interesting a toy, huh?” Phillip asked.

“Most definitely.”

“I think that should be okay, then. You’ve obviously been thorough.”

“Oh yes,” Thomas said, a smile creeping across his lips, “I tried it on every setting.”

“Multiple settings? I remember when toys were just toys,” Phillip said, remembering the Lego kits and toy cars he’d played with as a kid. They were mainly toys his brothers had grown out of, but he hadn’t cared back then. His frustration at being the baby of the family hadn’t surfaced until his teens.

“There are times and places for toys like that,” said Thomas as he flicked through some papers, “but some days call for something with a little extra.”

“What kind of toy is it, anyway?” Phillip had become a master at feigning enthusiasm about topics Thomas cared about.

“It’s not very big, but it doesn’t need to be. It’s sleek, black, and curves perfectly at the end. It looks a little like a dolphin.”

“It’s a water toy?”

“It’s waterproof, so you can use it in the bathtub. I did that the first time as you know I can’t stand making a mess, but the second time I used it in the bedroom.”

“It sounds pretty versatile.”

“Well, it only serves one purpose of course,” Thomas replied, “but it does it admirably and in so many ways. I think it would be fun to play with together, too.”

“You can share it?”

Thomas furrowed his eyebrows in a way that meant he disapproved of something. “Not without giving it a good clean, first. Hygiene is important, Phillip.”

“But you just said—”

“I meant,” Thomas said, eager to clarify, “that one person could control it, and the other could enjoy it.”

“Could more than two people play with it?”

“Not in this house, Phillip,” Thomas said sternly. “I suppose it could be used in group activities, though.”

Thomas continued speaking. “I think that you would enjoy this toy immensely, too. I’d love to use it on you. I’m sure it would make you scream, just as it did to me.”

Phillip blinked and everything slotted into place. “Wait—Is this a sex toy?”

“Of course it is,” Thomas said, a tone of confusion in his voice. “What did you think it was?”

“I thought it was a toy-toy. A kid’s toy.”

“How many children’s toys do you know that can massage your prostate on ten different settings?”

“I didn’t know it could do that!” Phillip exclaimed. “You said that you were writing a toy review, and as you work in a toy department I just assumed it was a kid’s toy.”

“Ah, fair enough,” Thomas said. “It’s not a child’s toy though.”

“I gathered that.” Phillip ran his hand through his hair as images of a naked Thomas lying prone on their bed with a vibrating prostate massager in his cute little butt flashed through his mind. Suddenly his already tight jeans were feeling even tighter. “So all of these notebooks are for a sex toy review?”

“I bought the toy online and it’s only right that I share my expertise with others that are considering making a purchase.”

“Does a sex toy review really need this much work?” Even for Thomas, this seemed to be a little too conscientious.

“As I said earlier, I’m comparing it to other similar toys on the market.”

“Exactly how many sex toys do you own, Thomas?”

“I had quite the collection before you came on the scene, Phillip,” Thomas said, pointing his pen at Phillip to emphasize his point. “However, I downsized the collection when we moved in together. Now, they’re just for times when you’re not here.”

Phillip slid off the armchair and shuffled across the floor until Thomas was sandwiched between his long legs. Many of Thomas’ neatly stacked notebooks had been scattered by the action and Thomas scowled at the mess that had been made. He still, however, leaned into Phillip’s chest and gripped Phillip’s thick thighs.

“They don’t have to be just for times when I’m not here,” Phillip said. Thomas was tracing patterns on his thighs and it was highly distracting. “You can play with your toys while I’m here, too.”

“You’d like that?”

“I’d love that.”

Thomas smiled and straddled Phillip’s lap, his fingers idly playing with Phillip’s hair as he always did when he wanted something. “Can I use some on you, too?”

“Sure, babe,” Phillip replied. “Whatever you like.”

“How about we start with this prostate massager? After all, I could use a second opinion for my review.”


End file.
